Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
not ubering you a puppy
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
