Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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