you're like a bully in the Christmas story
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
