Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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