I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
