Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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