You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize