I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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