Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Girls should come with a carfax report
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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