I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
