morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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