If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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