I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
