I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
