I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
