I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She's like a pop up book from hell.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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