Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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