I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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