The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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