My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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