Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
