video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
