No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
