Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
