Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
