I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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