I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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