During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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