judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
