How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
