i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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