Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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