I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
