How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
