Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
