its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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