you guys were way drunker than both of me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have aggressive nipples.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
