i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
