Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
