Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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