It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
