I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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