the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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