summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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