have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
