either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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