I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
