how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
