Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
