My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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