She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Randomize
