You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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