I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
