I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
