Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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