youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
