how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
