If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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