I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
