Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
