I have demons in me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My penis needs a shock collar
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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