I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize